My Kids and I
by SpunkyPaperAngel
Summary: The 4th Kazekage divorced a year ago; now his ex-wife is leaving Gaara 2 , Kankuro 4 , and Temari 6 under his amateur care for two weeks. Not like he has angry neighbors, a crazy stalker/ex, a job, and a complicated life! DX Slice of life. AU.
1. Chapter One

_Full Summary: Set in modern times, Karura divorced the Fourth Kazekage a year ago for being a bad husband and father. However, taking care of Gaara (2), Kankuro (4), and Temari (6) is no easy task, so she decides to take a break in Hawaii, leaving her ex in charge of their precious little ones for two weeks. This is the story of how the kazekage is forced to act like a father should, and how through spending that time with his children he matures, realizes his past mistakes, and attempts to get his act together for a better future._

* * *

**My Kids and I**

**Chapter One**

**Note:** This is obviously alternate universe with no ninjas. The story is a slice of life about family. There will be some romance and attempted humor/cuteness. It's lighthearted, and by the way I officially named the Fourth Kazekage Hiro of the Wind/Kaze no Hiro. Thanks for reading!

**Warning:** A bad word here and there, very mild sexuality here and there (Kazekage shenanigans with women).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto and characters.

* * *

My bitch of an ex-wife let our three kids outside my door this Saturday summer morning with a note that says: _Gone to Hawaii for two weeks. Watch the kids. I'll call you when I get there. Love, Karura. _ I ran outside the apartment complex in hopes of catching her, but it was too late. All I could see was her car as it turned around the corner.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but they are all still very little and tend to be annoying. My daughter Temari is the oldest one, being only six years old. Right at her heels is my son Kankuro, who is four, and the littlest one is Gaara, my two year old baby boy. They are generally good kids, but like every child they cause a mess everywhere they go. That is my biggest problem with them.

When I was still with their mother, I used to be at work all the time while she took care of them (she then said that I neglected her as a reason to ask for the divorce and keep half my money, my house, and over half of my salary in child support, but that's another story that happened a year ago). As a result of my absence from home, I never really got the hang of being a true father to my three children. I never fed them, cleaned after them, bathed them, changed them, put them to bed, and I didn't even play with them.

And now Karura dumped them in my house for two weeks with no regard of my work schedule and without prior notice. The kids are happy to see me, and I am happy to see them, too, but I won't lie: the moment I read the note their mother left I died a little on the inside, and I keep perishing with every passing second.

As of now they are sitting on the couch like angels. Kankuro has the TV remote and is channel surfing, Gaara is pointing at things and asking what color they are, and Temari is answering his questions, although she's quickly growing frustrated as she has already told him the curtains are blue four times.

"Hey, kiddos, did your mom give you breakfast before dropping you off?" I ask them. I for one had just woken up and was starving.

"She gave me and Kankuro cereal," Temari answers, "But Gaara was still sleeping so she just packed him some oatmeal and apple slices. They are in one of the bags."

"I'm hungry!" Gaara exclaims happily.

"And I'm hungry, too!" Kankuro adds at the last moment.

"You ate already," I tell him, looking through the two big bags that Karura had dropped off along with the kids. Clothes, coloring books, toys, diapers, shoes.

"So? I'm hungry again!"

Sippy cups, blankets, hairbrush, toothbrushes, lotion. "If you eat a lot you'll get sick."

"No I won't! I always eat a lot!"

"He does!" Temari agrees.

"Then you'll get fat if you keep eating a lot," I say. Crayons, a _camera_, a night light, kids' medicine, little kid toothpaste, Band-Aids, movies, towels. Dear God, how long were they staying again?

"But I'm hungry!" Kankuro whines.

"I want chocolate milk!" Temari yells.

"_I'm hungry!_" Gaara shrieks.

"I know, I know," I tell them all. "Temari, _where's_ his food?"

She sighs in exasperation, reaches into the blue bag, and pulls out Gaara's meal just like that. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.

"Thanks," I ruffle her hair and put Gaara's food on the table. _Women_…. "Here, Gaara. Breakfast is served."

"No, dad! You have to microwave the oatmeal first!" Temari and Kankuro shout at me.

Gaara sits on the edge of the chair and starts eagerly on the apples. Like his siblings ordered, I go to microwave his oatmeal.

"Daddy, I want chocolate milk," Temari says.

"I don't have chocolate milk," I tell her. "Do you want coffee instead?"

"Mom says we can't drink coffee because that's for grown-ups. I want chocolate milk."

"But mom isn't here," I remind her. "I can give you coffee if you want to."

"_Chocolate_. _Milk_." She says with a tone of finality.

I sigh profoundly. "Okay, but you have to wait. We have to go to the store for it."

She nods in agreement and goes back to sitting on the couch. Now Kankuro is the one looking at me.

"I'm hungry," he says flatly.

"Do you like eggs?" I ask. It hasn't even been thirty minutes since they arrived but I can already tell arguing with them is useless.

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll make some for the both of us."

Like his sister before, he nods and goes back to the couch.

I pull out the eggs from the fridge to get started on my breakfast, get the oatmeal out of the microwave when the minute is up and give it to the little redhead, and everything is going great. For a moment, I convince myself that I can do this. Then, as if to prove me wrong, everything goes wrong.

Gaara starts crying because the oatmeal got too hot and burned him and Kankuro and Temari start fighting over the control remote. Since he's the youngest, I decide to tend to Gaara first. I get a glass of cold water and give it to him. He immediately starts drinking but half the liquid starts running down his neck and soaking his shirt. I consider taking the water away from him and taking his shirt off, but just then Kankuro lets go of the remote, making Temari fall off the couch, so she starts crying a little. I am on my way to check on her but she raises the remote and throws it straight into Kakuro's face. She smirks and he starts crying loudly. I hurry towards Kankuro and glare at my daughter, who stands awkwardly for a while before starting to cry loudly herself. Behind me Gaara threw the rest of the water on himself and put the glass cup down on the edge of the table, only to knock it down to the floor when he whirled around to see what all the fuss was about. Kankuro is fine, apart from a red mark on his forehead, so I go back to Gaara and order him to stay on the chair while I clean up the broken glass. I don't want him to cut himself and I am very nervous by this point so I probably sounded aggressive when I told him to stay on the chair, because for no reason Gaara starts crying along with his siblings!

I'm in the middle of one big cry fest, and I feel like crying a little myself. Karura, my bitch of an ex-wife, man, she keeps screwing me over even now! And I never thought I'd say this again after the divorce, but I can't wait to see her again. I want the kids out of my apartment _now_.

I let them cry while I sweep up what used to be a perfectly good cup. When I'm done, I tell Gaara gently that it's safe to get down from the chair already, and the boy stops crying altogether. He just hops off and goes to the freaking suitcases his mom brought. I don't know whether it bothered me or amused me, but he gave one band-aid to Kankuro and Kankuro stopped crying. Then he picked up the remote and handed it to Temari; she stopped crying as well. They are all happy now, as if their earlier crying had been pretend.

They had to be siblings, and overall they are good kids. After the chaos and changing Gaara's shirt, the trio managed to behave well enough long enough for me to make breakfast. Kankuro and I ate our food, I washed the plates and silverware, and now I'm sitting on the couch with the kids watching cartoons. I'm hoping the rest of the day goes by smoothly, but of course that's wishful thinking. Gaara ate, Kankuro ate, but Temari never got her chocolate milk.

"Daddy, when are we going to the store?" she asks in a whiny voice.

If she's anything like her mother, I know her question translates to something along the lines of: take me to the store now. I consider taking a shower first, but one look at them makes me realize that I can't leave them alone for ten minutes. "Good luck trying to take a dump with us around, let alone a shower," I can almost hear Gaara say.

So in less than five minutes I change into a pair of jeans and a casual T-shirt and have the trio strapped in the backseats of my car. Karura, so thoughtful, thorough, and lovely, had brought a kid seat for Gaara and all. We are all on our way to the supermarket, together, something that I haven't done in a long, long time, and although I try to remain calm, I'm dreading the experience.

I used to do the grocery shopping with Karura when we had no kids; it was a thrill. We'd have fun arguing over what things to get and what not, and when we got home we would make love as if we were sex-starved. Oh, that simple task really had a charm to it. But then we had Temari, and despite grocery shopping being a little harder to do, with half of Karura's attention focused on our first baby, the task was still enjoyable. There was no more after sex, but I couldn't complain. Then our little blonde girl was only two when we had Kankuro. Buying food became a merely bearable task then. Usually one of the kids would be crying, but at least while Karura watched Kankuro I watched Temari. It was manageable, until we had Gaara. Going shopping with a newborn, a two year old, and a four year old was a burden. The oldest one wanted everything it laid eyes on, the toddler cried and spent most of the time trying to get out of the shopping cart, and Karura was too busy trying to take care of our premature Gaara to pay any attention to me struggling with the older two. And the random sex just because it felt amazing was officially gone. The enjoyment of grocery shopping disappeared. I started doing it alone.

Today, it's just me and those kids that had ruined the fun to begin with. At least, I console myself, there isn't a tiny baby this time. But I'm still nervous. What if they decide to run around and one of them gets lost? Last time I was with any of my family at the supermarket was when Gaara was three months old. I'm not up for this.

But there's no turning back. As soon as we arrive to the store I put Gaara and Kankuro on a shopping cart, the little one on the seat of course. "Temari," I tell my daughter in my most serious voice. "Do not. Do _not_. _Do not_. Do not run around. Got it?"

She gives me a cold look and huffs an insulted "yes, I got it".

"Good. So we're just buying chocolate milk, right?" It should be plenty easy.

Haha, as if…. Kankuro climbs out the cart when I'm not looking and I can't convince him to get back on it. Temari (she had to be a girl) starts throwing in everything from cookies to scented candles into the cart every time my attention is somewhere else. And Kankuro insists he wants to push the cart, while at the same time keeps ordering Temari to get things he wants, and conveniently enough for him she actually listens. And I don't know how Gaara got his hands on a bag of Cheetos but he's eating them already.

"Kill me," I tell the cashier as she scans all the items, including the now empty bag of chips. She giggles and gives me the total: $147.31. One hundred and forty seven dollars with thirty one cents. It's my own damn fault for not making the kids put everything back, so I just sigh and swipe my credit card. "Do you want to keep them?" I ask the girl, motioning to the Mayhem Trio. She laughs and shakes her head no.

I've spent one hundred and forty seven dollars with thirty one cents on things that quite frankly we don't need in just our first few hours together. It's mostly junk food, with some good but unnecessary snacks here and there. But still! If Karura knew the junk her precious babies were going to eat—wait, is _this_ the reason the government forces me to give her seventy percent of my salary?

We arrive home after a painful hour plus. Now, we have around twenty shopping bags full of food, an apartment on the third floor, and only one adult to carry the things up there. So I do what any smart parent would do. I load each child with as many light bags as their little hands can carry and take care of the rest myself. They complain but, hey, I spent one hundred and forty seven dollars with thirty one cents because of them so I couldn't care less. The little ingrates should be carrying all the bags on their own. We go up the elevator, and at last I put the bags I was carrying down to unlock my apartment door.

A high-pitch, scratchy greeting close behind me makes me blanch in terror.

"Good afternoon, Hiro!"

It's Ms. Mimi, and she's my wonderful neighbor. She's a woman in her early forties, a woman who had been really pleasant to me a year ago when I first got the apartment. I remember she had baked me a cheesecake as a welcome home gift, and together we had eaten most of it while I told her, and actually cried like a baby, about my nightmarish divorce. She was sweet, really empathized with me, and best of all she agreed that Karura turned out to be a total bitch. I liked Ms. Mimi a lot because of that. We talked a little about her own life too— three years ago her ex-husband had left her for a younger, prettier woman, she admitted, and to make her feel better I called her ex an idiot— and we talked about our jobs and interests— I said I was a paralegal who enjoyed listening to music, playing video games, who had enjoyed going to the park or cooking with my wife, on my free time, and she said she owned a clothing store that she ran from afar, and she loved cooking and having fun on her free time, which was all the time. If I ever needed anything, anything at all, I should go to her, she had said eagerly, and I did make sure to visit her at least for five minutes once a week for the first few months, since she looked like a really lonely woman and I enjoyed her friendship.

But then— and this happened just five months ago— she discovered I started having sex with one of the secretaries at the law firm I worked in— probably saw the girl (my worst mistake _ever_ by the way) leave my apartment one morning— and she got furious. She cut our beautiful friendship and turned into an old, insufferable hag.

Nowadays I realize that maybe Mimi was interested in having a relationship with me…. It certainly _could_ have worked out, technically speaking. We used to get along well, she doesn't have children and although I do they live with their mom, we both make good money, back in the days I wanted someone sweet to fill the void Karura had left, and she probably desperately wanted, and still wants, a young buck to satisfy her womanly needs, and I was sex-starved too I must admit, thus my fling with my coworker.

But I'm not noble (I mean, I can't stand quality time with my kids; what does that say about me?).

I had met Karura when I was twenty, in my sophomore year of college. She was eighteen and a half, the cute register girl at the café I frequented, and by the end of that school year I somehow got her to be my girlfriend. Although we had dated other people before, we were both virgins, with me being quite shy and she saving herself for a decent man. She considered me that 'decent man' and within a few months we had taken each other's v-cards. _And it was amazing_. She was the girl of my dreams. Although she was only a cashier and didn't have any plans for the future, she was absolutely gorgeous, had a great personality, and I was sure once I was done with college and had a job I would be able to support her. And did I mention how absolutely hot she was and how ridiculously awesome sex is? Even after three kids Karura retains her hourglass shape, big breasts, round butt, any men's fantasy really! Silky golden hair, soft, velvet skin, cute smile…. She's such a bitch, she really is, but she is a beauty, and like the stupid, selfish man I am I could never go from fucking my ten of an ex-wife to a middle-aged, slightly worn-out, too skinny woman. I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm a horrible person.

If I was going to get a second lover, I wanted her to be at least half as pretty as my ex, and that I did. Freaky Rika from the law firm. I guess Mimi realized I never considered her for at least a one-night stand— I was obviously wanting sex, but instead of going to her who was so blatantly accessible I went for a troublesome cute young thing— and that pissed her off. Ever since, she's been bitter.

"Are those three yours?" she asks me in her usual fake sweet voice, looking at my little army with disdain.

"Yes, they are my children," I reply simply, unlock the door as quickly as I possibly can.

I want her to go away, but she keeps talking. "They are adorable, you know? _But_ the complex doesn't allow kids or pets so _watch it_." Her tone has gone from sickly friendly to hostile and threatening in less than a second and I know I'm in trouble.

I turn to face her with the most relaxed expression I can manage and tell her, "They are just staying for a few days. Their mother had an emergency, you know?"

"No, I _don't_ know," she almost snarls. "I'm just advising you to _watch out_." She raises her chin as dignified as she can and finally goes inside her apartment, proud to have had the last word and, I imagine, plotting some type of revenge.

_Women_. Will my Temari turn out to be a bitch like her mother or angry like this hag? Or even worse, a total creep like Rika? Because Rika is a crazy, obsessive, kinky whore and a stalker and if I suffer a mysterious death I'm blaming it on her!

But my Temari looks so cute with her cheeks all flushed from carrying so many bags. I can't imagine my little princess being anything other than a nun.

I open the door and we carry all our groceries inside. I'm tired, but I put everything up in the cabinets and make four cups of cold chocolate milk. For the next two hours we watch a movie, then for two more hours I show them the glorious world of video games. I prepare lunch around three, simple ham sandwiches and some hibiscus water. I have the sense to give Gaara his drink on one of the sippy cups this time. They run around playing for the rest of the afternoon, nothing too reckless thankfully. I keep hearing Mimi's voice telling me to watch it because the complex doesn't like children. I keep expecting for one of the managers to show up, give me a fine, and tell me to get the kids out or I'll be ousted. Why would Karura do this to me? She's… _such a bitch_!

The day drags, and eventually baby Gaara is the first one to get sleepy at nine at night; he curls on the couch, and within minutes his breathing settles into a peaceful rhythm. Thirty minutes later Temari starts yawning and goes to brush her teeth, comes to give me a goodnight kiss, and falls asleep in the guestroom bed. Thirty minutes later Kankuro decides he's tired as well and follows his sister's steps. I carry the little one and place him in between his siblings on the bed, and finally I get to take my much deserved shower.

By the time I get to my bed I can't help but wonder how the hell I'll survive the next thirteen days. Today felt like it would never end, and tomorrow….

I must have fallen asleep because I don't open my eyes until sunshine is gleaming behind my still heavy eyelids.

* * *

**Important: I have three chapters completed on this, and if no one seems to like it (for example, I get no reviews and no messages) I will assume this has no readers and drop it, or I'll just rush it for the sake of finishing. Although I love the concept and the characters, I have more "important" and "serious" projects that I rather invest time on, especially if this has no readers. Just a couple of people telling me that they want to see more can make the difference, so if you like make sure to let me know. You took the time to read. Why not take a second to comment? The more love is shown, the more motivation. Anyways, thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter Two

**My Kids and I**

**Chapter Two**

**Note: **I am shocked people like this! But either way since the feedback exists and is positive I have decided to continue :)

**Warnings: **A bad word here and there I believe.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these characters.

* * *

How Karura ever manages to get anything done with our three kids running around like a herd of crazy cows, I'll never know.

It's early Sunday morning, and I am sitting in the living room sipping on some coffee and watching the news when Gaara comes in, rubbing his big eyes with his little hands. He walks towards me, sits on my left leg, and immediately the scent of piss fills my nostrils.

I am this close to shoving him off my lap, but luckily keep enough composure to merely brush him off lightly.

"You _peed_ yourself," I accuse, looking at the wet spot in my pajama pants with horror. "_Why?_" He was two years old already for God's sake!

His lower lips quivers as he's about to cry, but I am quick to calm him down with a fake smile and a softer voice. "It's okay, kiddo! It happens to everyone!"

"Mommy…." He pouts miserably.

"_I know_! She's such a bitch for leaving you!" I tell him rather mockingly and stand up, grimacing as I do. "Let's change our clothes now, okay? How gross! You got your pee all over me, Gaara. Bad boy!"

"Dad!" Kankuro's voice calls out from the room. "Gaara wet the bed!"

He left his urine on me— fixable enough—but also on one of my beds? I feel like turning to face the little brat, picking him up by the throat, and throwing him out the window of my third floor apartment, but somehow I manage to only choke out a frustrated groan. "Okay, okay, you're just a toddler. Let's get you into some clean clothes. I can do this."

We go into the guest room where the kids spent the night; Gaara is rummaging through the suitcases looking for his clothes, and Kankuro and Temari are sitting up on the bed with disgusted faces, glaring daggers at their baby brother.

"Gaara, shame on you," Temari scolds the little redhead. "What you did is gross. Why didn't you wear a diaper?"

That catches my attention. "Is he potty trained or not?" I ask the girl.

She shrugs her bony shoulders. "I think he's barely learning, because he wears diapers at night but undies during the day."

"Fair enough. Make sure to make him put his diaper on tonight, okay?"

Her teal eyes widen. "No! You have to do it!"

"… I have to do what?"

"Put his diaper on! Because he's too little!" she yells at me as if I'm stupid.

I have never put a diaper on a baby before in my life, and it sounds really gross. But then again it's not like I'll be wiping shit off him or something, so I just sigh and nod.

"Alright. I can do this," I say confidently. "Gaara, hurry up with your clothes already."

"Oh! Don't forget!" Temari hops off the bed and starts going through the massive suitcases as well. "His towel is the green one with the rabbit ears— this one!" She pulls out a pastel green towel and gives it to me.

I stare at it blankly. "I'm just going to change him, not shower him."

Temari and Kankuro exchange wise looks, and I automatically know I'm doing something wrong. "What now?" I almost growl.

"You have to bathe him because he peed himself," Temari explains.

"He smells bad," Kankuro adds, wrinkling his nose.

Well… there's no denying it. I'm a horrible father. I've never bathed any of my kids before. Have I even seen them naked? I can't recall. "I don't know how to bathe him so I'll just change him."

"But dad, mom always makes us take a bath," Temari says. "It's really easy; you just shampoo him, soap him, rinse him, and let him play in the water."

I'm too nervous about the concept though. What if he gets soap in his eyes and starts crying, or even worse, what if he drowns? "I'll just change him," I repeat, albeit less convinced.

"But he's stinky," Kankuro walks up to Gaara and pokes him teasingly in the stomach. "You want a bath, don't you, Gaara?" He speaks to his little brother in a playful voice; Gaara giggles and nods.

I'm still too hesitant, and Temari knows it because she offers a piece of advice. "What if instead of bathing him you shower with him? I used to shower with my mom when I was more little."

I consider it. On one hand, it'd be awkward. I'm not enthusiastic about being naked in front of my son. I'm _too_ shy. I know Gaara is just my little kid and it shouldn't matter, but the thought of him asking about my… privates… or something makes me shudder in dread.

But on the other hand, a shower would be nice. Although I took one just last night, nothing compares to being refreshed in the early morning, especially when I think of the long day ahead of me. Plus, I have a gross pee spot on my leg that should be washed accordingly. Surely Kankuro and Temari can handle themselves if I am gone for a little while?

Or better yet, Temari can handle herself alone for a little while! Kankuro and Gaara both get their shower for the day, and later on I just have to worry about the girl's. My mind is set.

I pull out the coloring books and crayons from the huge black bag and give them to my daughter. "Here. Kankuro, Gaara, and I will take a quick shower, and you'll be a good girl and stay coloring or watching TV, okay?"

"I don't want to shower," Kankuro whines, but one serious look from me and he gets his clothes and a colorful towel from the bags obediently while I take care of the dirty bed sheets.

"Okay, daddy," Temari says, and I go make sure the front door is completely locked and nothing dangerous on sight.

"Don't open the door if they knock, do not touch the stove at all, and just don't do anything that will make me mad, alright?"

"Yes, I know. I'll be good." She takes her blanket and gets on the couch, remote in hand.

It might be foolish, but I trust her to actually be good.

Still, time is precious. I get Gaara's radioactive green bunny towel, herd him and Kankuro into the bathroom, and while I set the water to the right temperature they strip shamelessly.

I am not as unabashed as I take off my clothes and get us all in the shower.

Gaara is giggling because the water tickles him— my guess is that Karura usually bathes him in the tub instead— but apart from that it's all calm and uneventful. I close my eyes and pretend for a minute that I'm home alone, and the thought makes me smile, until Kankuro brings me back to reality. He asks me to hurry up with him because he wants to get out already.

"Here's shampoo, here's body wash," I bring both bottles down to where he can reach them. "You do the rest."

He can soap himself alright, but isn't sure about the shampoo. So I pour some of the nice-scented liquid on my palm and show him how it's done. He tries it, but does a pathetic job at creating any foam on his head. Awkwardly, I start massaging his scalp for him.

"Now you rinse it off," I tell him. "Just close your eyes and scrub your hair so that the shampoo comes off." He does it, but there's still soap on his hair when he thinks he's done. Again, I finish for him, and with that he steps out of the shower and starts drying up, although I order him to stay in the bathroom until Gaara and I are finished.

Now it's the little one's turn. I soap myself first and then hand him a fresh sponge and body wash bottle. He looks at the items and then starts _playing_ with them.

Kankuro laughs at me. "You have to wash him. He's little and doesn't know how to."

Of course he would be little and don't know how to. I snatch the objects from Gaara and start on his right arm, across his right shoulder, neck, left shoulder, left arm. I wash his chest and belly; turn him around to do his back. Then I stop.

I can't wash his butt or genitals. No way. No way in hell. First of all, working at a law firm, I have witnessed dozens of sexual harassment cases where the defendant stubbornly claimed he hadn't meant the questionable gesture in any sexual way. There is no way I am letting Karura screw me over again and get me registered as a sex offender by claiming I molested our son! And secondly, I can't bring myself to wash my kid's privates because I am an awkward wreck who over-thinks the most minimal, stupid things. He's my son! I'm showering him and have to clean his junk! There's nothing wrong about it! Nothing awkward! But I can't bring myself to do it!

I look at Kankuro helplessly and he shrugs. "Mom is the one who always showers him."

"Do you think Temari can do it…?" I ask weakly.

"Don't think so. She bathes alone because she's a girl."

I wash Gaara's feet and legs and stop again; look at Kankuro once more.

He sighs profoundly and faces Gaara. "Hey, can you clean yourself there," he points, "like when mommy bathes you?" he asks him in the singsong voice from earlier when he poked him. "Daddy and I don't know how to, so if you don't clean yourself you'll be dirty and gross."

Slightly alarmed at the concept of being 'dirty and gross', the two year old little boy takes the sponge from my hands and, in his imperfect way, cleans his private areas.

Kankuro looks straight at me and says, "Gaara can be really smart. You just have to talk to him right."

Talking to Gaara right… I make a mental note to pay attention how the kids interact with each other. As of now, shower time is over, and wrapping a towel around my waist I go check on Temari.

She's perched on a chair drinking chocolate milk and there's a mess all around her, but other than that I was correct about her being mature enough to handle herself.

"Let me just change and I'll cook us breakfast, okay?" I let her know.

She nods and her eyes go back to the cartoons on the television.

Five minutes later Kankuro, Gaara, and I are standing in the kitchen doorway, and I am fuming. I take everything I had said earlier. _Temari is not mature enough to handle herself_.

"You drew on the wall," I tell her angrily.

She gulps and shakes her head no. "It wasn't me!"

"Then who was it? The tooth fairy? The Easter bunny? Santa Clause?"

"It was Kankuro! He did it yesterday!"

"I want you to clean that mess up _right now,_ young lady!"

"But Kankuro did it!" she cries.

"Liar! I didn't do anything!" Kankuro says.

"Clean it up, Temari," I tell her, my voice lowering to dangerous levels. "_Right now_."

"Gaara did it!" she starts crying harder.

"_No!_" Gaara shrieks, knowing he's being accused of crimes he did not commit.

"Clean it up, Temari of the Wind, or I will _hit_ you."

She starts crying harder and harder, but I go get a rag, some cleaning supplies, and hand them to her. "Get to work. That's what you get for writing on the walls."

She throws a massive tantrum, and after five minutes of trying to get her to clean the damned wall she wins.

"Fines! I'll clean it but you're grounded!" I scream at her angrily.

"Fines!" she screams back. "But I didn't do anything!"

The nerve of that little girl to lie to my face! She had to be a female!

"_Breakfast!_" I yell at no one in particular for the sake of not screaming something offensive at her. I turn to the boys in hopes of a distraction. "What do you guys want to eat?"

"Waffles!" Kankuro answers automatically.

"Yay! Waffle!" Gaara jumps up and down excitedly.

"I don't know how to make waffles!" I inform them, starting to get even more annoyed.

Their faces fall, and I take a deep breath. Just because Temari pissed me off doesn't mean the boys have to pay as well. "Alright. I guess we just go to Waffle House."

"Yay!" Kankuro and Gaara cheer excitedly.

But Temari is still grumpy. "I haven't taken my bath yet."

"Well just change," I snap at her. "Your punishment is not getting a bath until it's night."

She purses her lips and looks like she'll cry again, but she just huffs and informs me she's going to change her clothes then. My sons start putting their shoes on and I clean the wall while we wait for her. When she returns, she's wearing pink shorts and a white shirt and is holding a hair brush and hair bands.

"I want pigtails today."

"I don't know how to make pigtails."

"I want pigtails today."

If I could punch her in the face, I would. "Come here."

Three minutes later, because I have never brushed my daughter's hair before, she ends up with four messy pigtail wannabe things that don't make much sense. I expect her to tell me I'm stupid and did it wrong, but she just shrugs and puts on her shoes. I do the same, and once again we're all in my car on our way to a public place.

It goes fairly well to say the least. Although the trio gets in a fight because they all want to hand our waitress my credit card (I end up letting Kankuro do it because Temari is grounded and Gaara is too little), unlike at the store they actually stay put, eat their food, and behave like civilized people.

Then we go to the park for a while. As if I wasn't nervous enough because the other children's mothers keep staring at me with googly eyes, every time Kankuro jumps off the swing, every time Gaara lands on his butt after he goes on the slide, and every time Temari leaps across the playground, I feel my heart jump out of my chest. They could so easily get hurt! They could get anything from a scrape in their knees to a broken arm! They make me so anxious that I can't stand watching them for thirty minutes!

"Let's go!" I tell them, and they complain. They want to keep playing. "Come on, you guys. Parks are dangerous for little kids. We can go… to the zoo instead! Do you guys want to go to the zoo?"

Of course they want to go to the zoo. I hate the zoo. All you do is walk around looking at dumb animals that don't do anything. It's kind of depressing. And it's expensive. But kids love going to the zoo and my kids are no exception.

A forty minute drive, five dollar parking lot, eleven dollars for each child admission ticket, sixteen dollars for my ticket, walking around until five in the afternoon, thirty dollars spent on food and drinks during our break time, ten dollars in souvenirs, a forty minute drive back home, and fifty dollars to fill up my gas tank. Oh, and the twenty-five dollars from breakfast. Day two cost me around one-hundred-and-seventy dollars. My children's happiness is too expensive.

But at least we're back in the house by six in the afternoon, and they are exhausted. Gaara falls asleep on the guest room, Kankuro takes a nap on the couch, and Temari demands she wants her bath already (luckily she's old enough to shower herself so it spares me further awkwardness and conflict).

I turn on the TV and watch Family Guy while I am basically alone. It's strange. I usually would watch Family Guy and laugh at it, but now that my kids are with me I can't help but make comparisons. Like, Gaara and Stewie. What are the chances my baby boy is evil. And Kankuro and Chris. What are the chances Kankuro grows up to be that dumb. And Temari and Meg. What if they are the only normal people in the family? And Peter and I. Am I a douchbag too? The episode ends and I didn't laugh at all.

Temari comes out of the bathroom holding a hairbrush and hair bands again. "Do my pigtails like before."

"No, just a ponytail," I tell her, but start brushing her wet hair anyways. "Pigtails tomorrow morning, okay?"

Which reminds me, I have to work tomorrow. Or maybe not. I call my boss, explain the situation with Karura and the kids, and inform him I'll work from home this Monday. Since I'd been a dedicated employee for the company for years already (so much that my marriage ended), he says it's okay, he'll email me some documents, and that's that.

Temari starts coloring (on her coloring books, not the walls) and I start making spaghetti so that when the boys wake up they have food ready.

I'm getting good at this being a good father stuff. I can totally do this.

Or maybe not.

Gaara wakes up and comes out of the guest room with large, frightened eyes. I just know in the bottom of my heart that he did something bad.

"Why?" I scream angrily for the umpteenth time that day to the toddler when I walk in to see a wet stain on the blankets. He peed himself again for God's sake! What is wrong with him?

"Mommy!" he starts wailing, and goes to hide in a corner of my bedroom.

I pull off the dirty sheets from the guest, get some cleaning supplies and start trying to clean the mattress, and hear him cry and cry in the other room. I guess my anger fades after a while, because indeed his misery eventually starts getting to me. I feel bad for the kid. I go console him.

"Hey, don't cry, Gaara," I kneel beside him. "You miss your mommy?"

He looks up at me with his tearstained face and nods.

I give him a hug and pick him up, ruffle his hair comfortingly. "Don' cry. She'll be back soon." My arm is touching his peed shorts and it's gross, but I don't let go of him until he calms down. And by the time that happens, Kankuro has woken up.

"Get your clothes," I tell him. "We're showering again."

Kankuro's sleepy eyes widen. "But I already showered today!"

"Yes, well, we walked around in the zoo and you were playing in the park. You're dirty again."

"But, _dad_!"

"I said we're taking a shower," I repeat firmly. "Plus, Gaara peed himself again."

He frowns, he grumbles, he complains, but we shower again just like in the morning and no one gets hurt.

We eat, we stay up watching TV, playing video games, and playing with their toys for a while, and by ten we have all gone to sleep. I've never been so tired.

At midnight, however, the phone rings.

"Hello…?" I say drowsily into the receiver.

"Aloha!" a happy, familiar female voice says excitedly. "How are my babies doing?"

_Karura_. "It's _you_!" I wake up fully, sit up on my bed. "What you did is so messed up!"

"What? You didn't like the surprise?" she asks innocently. I can hear her smiling.

"Of course not!" I get up to turn on the light. "You should've told me earlier so I could be prepared!"

"Oh, but if I had told you earlier you would've made up reasons why you couldn't have taken care of the kids."

"I wouldn't have," I lie.

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes_. You know I'm a busy person. _Why_ did you do this to me now?"

"_Shut up_ already," she growls. "You're so self-centered, but whatever. I didn't call to argue. I do _not_ want to hear you say that our kids get in the way of your 'busy' life."

Ugh, she always found a way to use my words against me. "They don't get in my way. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then why are you complaining again?"

"Because you caught me off guard!" I yell at her, and regret it immediately. "Anyways, you're right! I don't want to fight either. It's been a long weekend."

"I bet," she says flatly. "You only see them for what? Eight hours a month? And now you've been with them for over thirty-six hours. Poor you must be exhausted."

"Shut up."

"Why? I mean it. You must be exhausted. Those three are a handful. I deal with them every day, so I understand how you feel. It's actually worst for you since you're not used to them."

I do not know how to reply, because she's right about everything. "How do you do it? Every day, I mean?" I ask her quietly.

"A lot of patience," she says, and adds playfully, "Plus a monthly trip to the spa and a random vacation to Hawaii."

"Which I paid for," I point out moodily. So much for 'child support'.

"_Yes_, so what?" she snaps. "Want to trade places with me and have the kids' custody so that you can go to spas and vacations every once in a while?"

Living with the kids every day? "No, thank you," I reply, a little too quickly. "I hope you have fun in Hawaii. But not too much. I want you back in thirteen days or less."

"Don't worry. I'll return soon. Unlike you, I can't live without my babies for too long." She sounds rather pissed, so I don't say anything. She continues after a small pause, "Is Temari there? I want to talk to her."

"She's sleeping. I don't know over there, but over here it's past midnight already."

"Oh my! I forgot you're seven hours ahead! I'm so sorry, Hiro!"

"Whatever. Do you want to talk to Temari? I can wake her up if you want to."

"No, it's okay! Let her—"

"_Temari!_" I call out loudly. "_Get up! Your mom wants to talk to you!_" I know I shouldn't wake up the kids. Karura can just call back tomorrow morning. But I know Karura knows this as well and that it will piss her off if I do wake them up.

Our daughter and her brothers come stampeding into my room and jump unto my bed, sit around me, and try to snatch the phone from my hands, but after some struggling I give it to the girl.

"Mommy!" she greets Karura. I turn on the speaker.

"Honey! How are you doing, baby?" Karura says excitedly. She sounds kind of choked, like she's trying not to cry.

"I'm okay. I'm with dad. He doesn't know what he's doing, but he's fun!" Temari says, her eyes sparkling with joy

There's a soft laugh from the other side. "What things does he not know how to do?"

"Hmmm… well he gave Gaara a boo-boo!" Temari tells her.

My eyes widen in horror.

"_He hit Gaara?_" Karura shrieks.

"He burned him!" Temari corrects her.

"What?" Karura screams in dismay.

"No!" I snap out of my shock and manage to scream out my explanation. "Karura, I did _not_ burn Gaara! I just gave him his oatmeal and it was too hot I guess and he burned himself a little but that's it! Nothing serious!"

"Temari, is your dad smoking around the house?" Karura asks in a panicked voice.

"No!" I snatch the phone back from Temari and turn off the speakers. "I don't smoke, Karura! Gaara is fine! They all are! I've been taking good care of them; they just miss you a lot."

She's hesitant to believe me for a long time, but even she knows I wouldn't burn my child with a cigarette! "Do they really miss me?" she asks at last.

"Yes. Gaara has wet the bed twice because he misses you, and Kankuro and Temari keep comparing our parenting skills. They think you're better."

"Awww, Hiro…" I hear her let out a little sob. "Let me talk to Kankuro," she says at last.

I turn on the speakers, give my son the phone, and he takes it eagerly.

"_Mom_?"

"Kankuro, I miss you so much!"

"I miss you more," he says sadly. He looks like he's about to cry. "Come back already."

"I'm a little far away, but I'll be there in a few days," she promises, and I swear she sobs again. "How is dad treating you?"

"He's okay. He has a lot of video games."

"He has always been a gamer. Are you being fed?"

"Yes, we went to the store yesterday and he got us a lot of food."

"Did he get fruits and veggies?"

"Yes."

"Good. And is he keeping you nicely dressed and clean?"

"Yes, he and Gaara and me shower together," Kankuro tells her. "Dad has a big—"

"_Shut up!_" I take the phone away from him in a blur. "Don't talk about those things, stupid!" I'm blushing like crazy.

Karura laughs her ass off on the other side of the line. "Oh, what's wrong, Hiro? Let him finish what he was going to say! There's nothing to be ashamed of, is there?"

"You tell me," I mumble awkwardly, turning off the speakers. "You've already seen it. You would know"

"I don't remember it at all," she teases.

It bothers me. "Come over and I'll make you remember it," I say thoughtlessly.

"_Hiro_," she grumbles sternly.

"What? Do you remember now?"

"I remember the dick that took advantage of my innocence and stole my virginity. That's what I remember."

I open my mouth to retort something that will only set her off, but then Gaara tugs at my elbow, asking to talk to his mommy.

"Gaara wants to talk to you," I say instead, and give the little redhead the phone. Once more I turn on the speakers.

"Hello? Baby?" Karura says.

"_Mommy!_" Gaara starts crying in joy.

"Gaara, my baby boy, I miss you so much!" says Karura. She sounds like she's definitely crying now.

"Are you coming?" Gaara asks her.

"In a couple of days, love. You're going to stay with daddy for a while, alright?"

"Okay…." Gaara pouts.

"I love you, Gaara. I love you so much."

"I love you, mommy."

"I love you more." She blows a kiss into the phone. "Honey, your daddy told me you wet the bed."

"Aha," he mumbles shyly.

"It's okay, honeybee. Just remember to tell him you want to wear a diaper at night, okay?"

"Okay."

"Don't be scared of daddy. He loves you too."

"Okay…."

"I love you, Gaara. I love you, I love you, I love you, _I love you_!" she tells him, and then less enthusiastically, "Let me talk to daddy again."

He starts crying sadly as he gives me back the phone; I turn off the speakers.

"Yes?"

"He's being potty trained. Make sure he wears a diaper before he goes to bed, and also if you go out carry one just in case."

"Okay. You should've mentioned that on your gone to Hawaii note."

"I didn't think of it," she admitts. "By the way, how are you handling wiping him?"

"Wiping him…? _Ugh!_ There hasn't been a need for that yet." Mental note: stop feeding Gaara A.S.A.P.

"You're such a brute. You better do it when the time comes."

"Do I have to…?"

"Grow up, Hiro. You're his _father_!"

"I'm still learning."

"Well figure it out fast."

"Hey, can Temari wipe him instead?"

Pause. "I guess she _can_ do it. She helps around with him a lot. But she shouldn't. She's just Gaara's big sister; you're his dad."

"But being a dad is hard."

"If you can't do it then take them to Yashamaru," she says and gives me my ex-brother-in-law's phone number. "He and his girlfriend offered to baby sit the kids when I told them about my vacation, but since they are so busy, you know, working at a hospital? I thought you were actually the better choice."

"I _can_ do this, you know."

"That's what you say but other thing is what you do. Get the kids back to sleep you jerk. I'll call again later and let you know if I found me some cute Hawaiian guy to marry."

A cute Hawaiian guy to _marry_? She would actually get married again? Or was she joking? I don't get to ask her because she hangs up.

I get the kids back in their room, and for the rest of the night, before falling back asleep and then in my dreams, I keep wondering if Karura, the love of my life, had meant what she'd said about remarrying.

Despite hating her for being such a bitch, I think part of me still adores her. Trying to pick up random fights with her just to get her attention, a horrible pang in my chest when I remember that I lost her, my unwillingness to form a serious relationship with another woman… I guess I really haven't completely gotten over Karura.

* * *

**Okay, so I don't have many details about how fast I'll update, how many chapters there will be, or what to really expect in the future. But Chapter 3 is in the process of being written and I have many situations involving Hiro, the kids, and even some Yashamaru running around my head already (tantrums, accidents, fights, phone calls, etc.). I don't even know how to describe how much I love writing about Hiro and Yasha (they are best frienemies forever) and Hiro and Karura (they are too awesome together)!**

** The thing is that I am sort of busy these days. I have this one new job that takes up a lot of time (but it's there where I think of my stories to keep myself entertained :p) But like I said, if you guys like this, I'll make sure to prioritize and continue it :)**

**Thank you so much for the nice comments everyone!**


	3. Chapter Three

**My Kids and I**

**Chapter Three**

**Note and Warning: **Is anybody here still watching the Naruto anime? If so, did you see the Fourth Kazekage? XD HE'S SO GORGEOUS!

On a serious note, there's use of several cuss and offensive words throughout the story and some sexy scenes. It was all bound to happen (see warning in chapter 1) but still the chapter did turn out a bit more risque than I wanted it to. Not much! Just a little. I still like how it turned out, and I hope you guys like it too :) This ends up being mostly Hiro-centric, but the kids will be a lot more involved next chapter. Thanks for all the nice comments! They mean so much to me! And before I forget, I don't have spell check on my new computer! So feel free to point out mistakes, or forgive them :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

* * *

If I'd known today I would have a ton of work, a steamy comfrontation with my neighbor, an unfortunate visit by my ex-lover, and the need to beg my ex-brother-in-law and his girlfriend to watch my children for tomorrow, I wouldn't have woken up. Having to deal with the kids is bad enough; any extra nuisances are uncalled for.

It started good enough. I woke up at six in the morning, turned on my laptop, and got to work. Reviewing documents, faxing papers, doing some phone calls, and arranging a court meeting or two. Same as usual but in my house and in pajamas instead of wearing a suit behind my desk. However, Kankuro woke up.

"Can I watch TV?"

"Aha."

"Can I have breakfast too?"

"Later. I'm busy."

"You don't look busy."

"Well I am."

"Liar."

"I'm working."

"In pajamas?"

"... Yes. In pajamas."

"I'm hungry, dad!" he yelled.

"Well if you're so hungry then make yourself some cereal," I replied calmly.

"I don't want cereal!" he screamed again.

"Then you're not hungry enough," I told him.

"I'm telling mom!" he threatened.

And next thing I knew I was in the kitchen making chicken quesadillas and fruit smoothies for breakfast. You'd think the boy would be satisfied now, but no. He starts whining because he doesn't like Monday morning cartoons.

"Kankuro, it's monday," I tell him. "Nothing good ever happens on Mondays. Now sit down, shut up, and eat."

He sticks out his tongue at me; it pisses me off, but hell, I forgive him. It is early morning and it is Monday. If I can't handle my own brat then I won't be able to handle the rest of the week. And I have a lot of work to do.

I go back to my laptop, and just as I'm about to continue where I left off, Gaara comes running into my arms crying his heart out.

"What? Did you wet the bed again?" I ask him, holding him in my arms. His bottom feels dry though and he's wearing a diaper. He shakes his head no and keeps wailing. "What's wrong, baby? Did Temari do something to you?"

"No! Kankuro!" he tells me.

Now, now, something isn't right... "What did Kankuro do to you?" The boy has been in the living room with me for over thirty minutes already!

Kankuro puts his food down and frowns, ready to defend himself if he has to.

"He dropped me!" Gaara says before starting to bawl his eyes out again.

I don't understand. "Kankuro didn't do anything. He was with me the whole time."

"_He dropped me!_" Gaara shrieks.

I look at Kankuro seriously. _Let me handle this_. But of course he does the opposite. "You liar! Take it back or else!" His hands ball into fists.

The little redhead tightens his arms around my neck so much that I'm finding it incredibly hard to breath. "_Kankuro. Stop. It_ " Gaara is crying and screaming so loud next to my ear that I think my eardrums will start bleeding. He is so loud that Temari wakes up, tells Kankuro something I can't hear over the noise of their little brother, and _they _start fighting. Noise combined, the trio become so obnoxiously loud that my angry neighbor Ms. Mimi shows up.

"Why are your children still here, Mr. Hiro? I thought I made it very clear that the complex didn't allow them!"

"I know, Ms. Mimi! But you have to understand!"

"I don't have to understand anything! All I have to know is that you ignored my warning last time so now I'm reporting you!"

She stomps down the hall and I whirl around to face the Mayhem Trio, who are now standing quietly next to each other with shocked expressions. "You are all _grounded_! I want you to sit on the couch and don't do anything until I get back! Temari, you're in charge. If I find out _any _of you were bad, _you _are in so much trouble young lady. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Kankuro and Temari answer simultaneously, with Gaara saying, "Yes, sir," after them. They march towards the couch and I run after Ms. Mimi.

"Ms. Mimi! Please! Wait! Give me a few more days!" I call towards her as she gets on the elevator. The doors are about to close but thanks to my superior speed I manage to squeeze through. The woman backs against the corner, and because she looks so genuinly surprised I guess she didn't expect me to come this far. "Please don't report me yet. Karura will be back in a few days and then you'll never have to see the children again."

"You should've gotten rid of them when I told you to," she says, and turns to face away from me.

But I'm not having any of that. If the bitch wants to play the scary person game, then so be it. I reach for her face and make her look me in the eye. "I can't throw them out into the street, Mimi. They are little kids. Be reasonable." Voice cold, expression angry. I'm taller, well-built, and by far more threatening than she could ever attempt to be.

I find it curious however how in addition to indeed looking intimidated, she also blushes. "D-don't they have ano-other family member that can watch them...?" she stutters. She tries pulling away from my firm hold in vain.

"There's their uncle," I tell her, "But he is an intern at a hospital. He's busy, and besides, I am their father. They are mine to care for."

She's so nervous. "I understand, Mr. Hiro..." she gulps. "... but even then you have to follow the complex rules. I don't believe in making exceptions..." I can feel her whole body shaking, and notice the dilation in her pupils. Adrenaline. Excitement. And out of nowhere my theory that she is attracted to me comes to mind and it seems so real. Because no middle age woman acts like a seventeen year old girl, right? A normal middle aged woman would scream if a thirty year old man had her captive in an elevator.

And yet the bitch won't change her mind about making my life even more difficult than it already is! Even if it pisses me off, she'll report me to management, and well, sometimes a man has to sacrifice himself for the greater good; today that man is me. "Ms. Mimi, come on..." And while I'm no good in the arts of seduction, I take a deep breath and without overthinking it just lean down and kiss her.

She recoils. I ready myself for the slap. But then she kisses back. Passionately. Her arms circle around my neck and before you know it we're on the floor with her on top.

Now, I've fucked Karura in an elevator once (she started it by the way). Anyways, the way my make-out session with Ms. Mimi is going is almost exactly the same as it happened back then. And I do not want it to happen again. Especially not with Ms. Mimi. It's unthinkable. It's bizarre. It's not right. "Hey- hey- _wait_-" I groan out. She's biting and sucking on my neck, and I'll be a liar if I said it wasn't affecting me. In my defense, she's at least fifteen years older than me. She's experienced!

"What?" she moans out, grinding into my crotch.

Oh dear mother, what did I get myself into? "We can't do it here, Ms. Mimi. We could get caught. And my kids. They are home alone."

"Okay, when can we do it then?" she asks eagerly. Her hands dissappear under my boxers.

The sensation is so amazing I swear I twitch. "When my children are gone," I tell her automatically. I'm that big of an idiot.

"But I need you tonight," she purrs.

"No, my kids will be home tonight."

"Do your kids wake up a lot during the night?"

You would think I lie and say yes or something, but I guess the pervert in me, as small as he is, wants this to happen as bad as she does. "Not really."

"Then you'll come to my apartment tonight and I'll make you feel better than any of those little girls have." She withdraws her hand from my pajama pants and stands up. And she presses the button to go back up to the third floor!

"So you're not reporting me, correct?" I dare ask, turning away from her to hide my triumphant smile.

She just giggles loudly. "Not as long as you manipulative bastard make love to me the way it's supposed to be." The elevator stops and she steps out, strutting down the hall looking already five years younger.

Eh, she figured me out, and I'm her sex toy, but at least I got what I wanted. I stand up from the floor and hurry back to my own apartment.

And when my kids ask about the giant hickey in the middle of my neck I tell them that Ms. Mimi punched me in the throat .

"We're sorry, daddy," Temari kisses my cheek. "We didn't want to make the lady mad at you."

"It's alright, doll. Just don't ever be that annoying again or I will send you all to a babysitter's for two weeks." Huh. I _should _send them to a babysitter's for two weeks. It would be easier for me and way cheaper too. But how would I explain that to Karura?

"It was Kankuro's fault!" Temari explains to me, glaring at the middle child. "My baby brother rolled off the bed because Kankuro wasn't there to stop him!"

"He dropped me!" Gaara sulks, arms crossed before him.

And _now _I understand. In Karura's house that I bought when we were married, there are three bedrooms. One of them is for Karura, one of them for the kids, and the last one Karura rents to this old lady. In the kids bedroom, there are two beds. One for the girl and one for the boys. They are in opposite corners, meaning that one side is directly next to the wall, and that side is the one in which Gaara usually sleeps, so if he rolls over, the wall keeps him from falling off on one side and Kankuro on the other. In my house however, I have one big bed that is centered against the back wall. Gaara has been sleeping in between his siblings these past couple of days, but since Kankuro woke up early today... "Well, its your own damned fault, Gaara. You shouldn't move around so much while you sleep." Karura used to do it a lot and it was annoying as fuck.

The little redhead looks like he's about to cry, but once again I'm all over it. I need a distraction. "Who wants to eat cold chicken quesadillas and smoothies?" I asked cheerfully.

"_Me!_" he and his siblings scream and they sit around the table. I'm getting good at this. I get Temari and Gaara some food, Kankuro keeps eating his, I grab a quesadilla for myself, and I go back to work. They play video games. I work. They color. I work. They start playing with their toys. I keep working. Every now and then they talk to me, but they are good enough to not keep me long from my work. If I'm as efficient as ever from my home, I am hoping I am allowed to work from home again for the next few days. Because taking them to the office is not a pleasant concept, but leaving them home alone for over eight hours is not an option at all. Things never go the way I want them to though. I take a break to cook some mac and cheese for the kids at two in the afternoon, and when I return to the laptop there's a message saying we have court tomorrow.

"Do you absolutely need me?" I ask my boss on the phone.

"Yes. You've been in charge of the case for the most part. It's as if you were the lawyer, Hiro."

"I- I understand. I'll be there." I don't know what I'll do with the children, but I have to be there. Work has always been an important part of my life. No matter how unpleasant, I pride myself in being a meticulous employee. And just like that, I go back to work.

As I've said before, I'm a paralegal, also known as a lawyer assistant. You know how professional golfers have a little guy walking behind them carrying all their shit? That's me but in the legal system. As I've said before as well, I met Karura during my sophomore year of college. I was aiming to be a lawyer, show my bastard of a father that I could indeed make it out there on my own. I had a full ride scholarship and a full life planned ahead of me (I am naturally brilliant), but then I met Karura (who turned me into a fool) and by the end of that school year I was completely in love, which caused my grades to go down, which caused the school to take away my scholarship.

And so I ended up with just a bachelor in law (my father would've never helped me pay the rest of my schooling even if I'd kissed his ass, and as a smart, broke young man back in the days I knew better than to take out a student loan). A bachlors was good enough anyways; it would allow me to be a paralegal . The job was okay and had good pay so that in the future I could save money and return to college to become a real lawyer.

Instead I ended up taking my first few paychecks and spending them on an engagement ring for my beloved. She was nineteen and I was twenty-one when we got married, and one year later our daughter was born. Any hopes of becoming a lawyer vanished at the realization that I had a growing family to support, and even after the divorce, until the day Gaara turns eighteen, I have to give so much of my income to Karura that I could never afford further education if I tried.

So yup... that woman ruined my life. I don't understand why now I think I still love her. Unless the kids' presence is triggering all these buried feelings. After all, Karura is right. I've been seeing my kids eight hours per month and that's it. Now I've been stuck with them for days. It's doing some damage to me, driving me a little crazy, making me think of the days when I was actually happy.

And I guess that's my answer on why I still love her. My happiest days were with her. _She _was happiness. She is also the first woman I ever truly loved. The thing is, my mom died on a car crash when I was three years old. For the life of me I do not remember her at all. I do remember however when I was a little boy being angry at her for dying. My dad got married again and had two daughters with his new wife and well... I was shoved aside. My step-mother and half-sisters got all of my dad's attention and love, and, I didn't mean to, but I resent them for it. I grew up very unhappy and lonely because of them. Then in my teens, before Karura, I had a few crushes, a few girlfriends too, two blowjobs and several handjobs, enough to please, nothing to commit. Females always ended up hurting, so I focused on school and on making my dreams a reality. I never imagined I would get so completely smitten with one girl and go out of my way to make her fall in love with me. I never imagined I would give up my dreams for her to build new ones _with _her. And I never imagined she would hurt me after everything I gave up to be with her and make her happy.

And I am so caught up making myself more and more depressed by the second as I sit in front of my laptop that when the second girl I have ever truly loved talks to me I have no idea what she says. "Come again?"

"Are you okay?" Temari repeats. "You look sad!"

I force a smile. "I'm fine. Just tired of working." I close my laptop and stretch my arms.

"Good because we're bored!" she says. "Let's go outside!"

"No," I say immediately.

Her face falls.

"But dad!" Kankuro pouts.

"No," I repeat.

"Outside, daddy!" Gaara gives me his best puppy eyes.

I hate puppies. "I said no."

Temari tugs at my shirt. "Come on, daddy! We've been in the house all day!"

"I like being inside the house," I tell her. "It has AC, it has food, and it has many things to do so you never get bored."

She and Kankuro exchange hopeless looks. Gaara starts crying.

"I want to go outside!" he sobs drily.

"You're such a crocodile. You have no tears."

He drops the act.

"Why do you guys even want to go outside?" I ask. "What can you possibly _do _outside?"

"Go to park!" Gaara yells.

"It's summer. It's too hot to go to the park."

"Then can we go to the swimming pool?" Kankuro asks excitedly.

"Or to buy ice cream?" Temari suggests just as happy.

"No," I crush their dreams and hopes. "You do not need ice cream. I got you guys a bunch of snacks a few days ago."

"What about swimming?" Kankuro pressed again.

"Just no."

"Why not?" he whines.

"Because I say so!"

"That's not a good reason!" he argues.

"It doesn't have to be a good reason! I'm the dad and what I say goes!"

"You are such a crappy dad then!" He crosses his arms defiantly.

"Crappy!" Gaara echoes angrily.

Temari just frowns and quietly leaves to the guest room; her brothers follow.

And I am left in the living room feeling like an evil dumbass. I mean, I know I'm a bad father. Karura has told me it, and it isn't like I'm so blind as to not see it myself if I think about it. I'm almost as bad as my own dad sometimes. But when your own _little _kids, children that do not understand anything about real life, know it as well, how can you even try to justify yourself? I couldn't care less what Gaara blabbed; he's a baby and knows nothing. But the older two... Kankuro's words really got me. And the way my daughter looked at me showed everything but admiration. It reflected raw dissappointed. And it hurt. They actually made me hurt.

So next thing I know I'm at the swimming pool in my apartment complex with my three kids and absolutely terrified that one of them will end up drowning. We are in the shallow end (by the steps as a matter of fact) but I make it my mission not to blink. With my luck, the worst case scenario is very likely to happen. On the bright side, my Temari is beaming and laughing, and the boys quit their whining as they splash in the water. _And _tomorrow I'll take them out for ice cream and never again would they have the right to call me a crappy dad.

The hour plus that we spent in the swimming pool turned out not to be as dreadful as I imagined it would be. Time went by rather fast actually. I mean, I was so scared the whole time that I felt like puking, and every time a neighbor would walk by or get in the water, I was afraid he or she would point an angry finger at me and demand the children's heads. But if anything they just smiled and commented on their cuteness (my kids are as adorable as they come, but damned Ms. Mimi just likes to make me miserable). Anyways, I was a nervous wreck most of the time, but I actually took each to the deep end of the pool and played with them. They had fun.

_I_ had fun. It turned out to be a very pleasant afternoon.

At least for that short amount of time. Kankuro and Temari were running to the apartment ahead of me as we walked back home, and as I was carrying Gaara on my shoulders I gave the girl the keys to unlock the door. What happened when she opened it is probably the worst thing that would end up happening to me these days with my kids.

"Daddy!" Temari said. "There's a naked lady in your house!"

"Oh shit!" a woman's voice yelped from the inside.

And just like that I knew it was Freaky Rika striking again. I've mentioned her before. One of the secretaries at the office? The reason why Ms. Mimi began to hate me? The woman I used to fuck when I decided to get over Karura? The crazy bitch of a stalker that may or may not end up killing me? That's Rika.

"Hiro! What are they doing here?" She covers herself with her dress and I hurry to shield my kids eyes. Oh shit... Temari wasn't kidding when she said there was a naked lady in the house...

"What are _they _doing here?" I raise an eyebrow. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I was wondering why you didn't go to work today!" she _explains _herself. As if! There is no need for a woman to take all her clothes off to show concern!

"Because my kids are here! How did you even get in here?"

"My spare key," she says, slipping the dress back on. No underwear.

I'm finding it incredibly hard to stay focused. "How do you have a spare key?"

"I took your key from your office once during break and got my copy."

She's a professional stalker! "I'll deal with you later. _Get out_."

"But Hiro!"

"_Get out!_"

"Fines, but I'll be back," she saunters towards me, then stops inches from my face. "I want to fuck you so bad," she mouths.

Eek! "Go away already," I tell her weakly. Hell, I want to fuck her just as bad now and I'm trying to hide it but I think she knows it. Still, mind over matter. My kids are in the house and she's a psycho and I can't let my hormones dictate my actions. She's not healthy and I need to stay away from her. She's amazing to have casual sex with though. I'll give her that much. "Get out..." When's the last time I had sex? It's been so long. No wonder _Ms. Mimi _aroused me.

When Freaky Rika finally leaves, Kankuro is the first one to voice what all three children had in mind. "Who was that?"

"She uh she's a friend of mine," I lied.

"Why did she not have any clothes on?" Temari wondered.

"Because she uh got hot." That was true.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Kankuro questioned.

"No!" That was so true too! "She's just a friend!"

"So why did you kick her out?" Temari pointed out.

"Because uh I uh I got in a fight with her."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because she uh she uh she did something that I did not like."

"What did she do?" Kankuro said.

Oh fuck. "She uh she... you wouldn't understand! It's a thing only grownups to know!"

"So it's a secret?" Temari eyes widened.

"Kind of yes I guess," I told her.

"I'm going to ask mommy if she knows!" she said to Kankuro.

"_Don't!_" I screamed. Oh God, Karura would kill me if she heard there was a naked woman in my living room. "You guys, you can't tell mommy about this! She'll be really angry!"

"Why?" they all asked.

And so I told them some bullshit that Rika was a witch and their mommy a fairy princess and they battled before any of them were born. If Karura realized Rika still lived, they would end up fighting again, and they wouldn't want their mommy to risk getting hurt, correct? Scared the crap out of them, but hey, they promised not to tell.

Temari took a shower after the unfortunate encounter with Rika, and then when she was done Gaara, Kankuro, and I took one as well. Then I made dinner while Kankuro played video games with Gaara and the girl played with her doll. And before I knew it it is seven in the afternoon already so I decided it was time to stop procastinating and make a phone call.

I needed a babysitter to watch my kids for tomorrow while I was at the court, and no one in the world is more suitable for the position than Uncle Yashamaru.

Alright, it probably sounds weird, but I always did have a fascination for Karura's little brother. He was four years younger than her, six younger than me, but he was so mature that he could carry out a real conversation with me and sound like an adult. He was quiet, observant, polite, quirky, and very intelligent; almost the opposite of Karura. He had a dry sense of humor that never failed to amuse me. He was the brother I always wanted to have. We got along well the first few months I started dating his sister.

Then one tragic day, he caught Karura and I fucking in her room. Well, he didn't see anything, but judging by his expression, Karura's deep blush, and even my own embarrassment, I'm sure he put one and one together and we scarred him for life. He never liked me much after it. He grew cold and creepy.

So you can imagine how awkward it is to talk to him now. Even if it's just on the phone, I can clearly picture his expression in my head just by listening to his voice. He _loathes _me. If he could have one wish, it would be for me to stop existing. But I still like him. As I said, he's the little brother I always wanted to have. I can't hate him if I tried.

So I dial his cellphone number that Karura gave me the day before and wait anxiously for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" a female voice answers.

"Hi there. Um, is this Yashamaru Kana's phone?"

"Yes. Let me get him. _Yashamaru!_" She screams for him while still holding the phone to her ear.

It deafens me a little, but I wait and sure enough his familiar soft voice is heard in the distance. "Who is it?"

"I don't know. I forgot to ask," the girl says. "Want me to ask?"

"Nah, it's okay." He takes the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Yash. It's me. Hiro."

"Oh," he says flatly, and then to the girl, "It's just Karura's ex."

"Already?" she laughs. "That was fast!"

"Told you he's an asshole," Yashamaru tells her.

Ouch. I can hear everything.

"Hey, Hiro, bring the kids in an hour, alright? We were about to go pick up some take-out for dinner and then-"

"I don't care what you're doing," I interrupt him. "I'm not taking the kids over tonight."

"_Oh?_" The bastard actually sounds surprised!

"I need a favor. I have a case that is going to court tomorrow and your sister said you could watch the kids if I ever needed it. I was wondering if you could take care of them tomorrow morning? I drop them off in your house around five in the morning and pick them up by four in the afternoon the latest."

"Sure thing. Anything for Karura and her kids. As a matter of fact, you can just bring them over tonight. Akane and I would be happy to watch them until sis gets back."

"I'm not irresponsible," I tell him. "There's no need for that. I _can _take care of my kids by myself, you know?"

"No, I do not know," he replies. "You couldn't take care of them while you had a wife. Why would anybody believe you can do it on your own now?"

Geez! I'm trying! "Because I can!" I say, more frustrated than intended. "My kids are doing great! I'm a good dad! If you want kids running around your house so badly then get your own!"

Without even trying, I strike a nerve. "I uh... no," he says awkwardly. The cards have turned around on my favor.

"Who's this Akane anyways?" I ask. The name sounds familiar. "Isn't she the same girl you were dating back when Kankuro was a baby?"

"Yes, same girl," he says.

"The one who answered the phone?"

"That's her."

"You guys live together?"

"We do."

"When did you get married?"

"I haven't."

"Engaged?"

"No, not yet."

"When then?"

"Quit being nosy."

I smile. "So that means never?"

"I don't know yet."

"Do you not love her?"

"None of your business."

"Temari was born when I was twenty-two. You're already twenty-four, aren't you?"

"So?" He sounds irked.

"You're getting old, Yasha. Time goes by quick. Marry the girl and reproduce before she gets tired of waiting and leaves you."

"Just because you and Karu met one year and married the next doesn't mean everyone is the same."

"Yes, but you've been with Akane for almost _four _years."

"I'm not taking love advice from a divorced man."

Yikes. "I think you're just afraid of commitment."

"_What?_" he sputters. "_No!_"

"Either that or you're smarter than you look." I smirk. "You're living with Akane, fucking her whenever you want, and there is no legal ties holding you down."

"I'm not like that!" he claims.

"Oh? So you've been four years with her but haven't touched her yet?" I chuckle.

"It's none of your business what I do or don't do with my girlfriend!" he snaps. "You're truly messed up, Hiro. What did my sister ever see in you?"

"I'm quite charming," I tell him. "But you're too grudgeful to see it."

"Me gudgeful?" He lets out a bitter laugh.

"Like a cat," I add.

This is the part where I bet he rolled his eyes. "I'm grudgeful over _what_?"

I sigh. "Do you seriously want me to say it?"

"Yes because I don't understand."

"If that's what you want... well, once upon a time in summer when your parents were out of town back when you were like fourteen or so, you got in a fight with Karura because you wanted to go to a friend's house and she didn't let you."

"Ugh, stop," he says. Now he knows what I'm talking about.

"So you just left without her permission-" I continue.

"_Stop!_" he repeats.

I could, but what would be the fun in that? "That night I made love to your sister in your house because-"

"_For God's sake! _Shut up!" he hisses.

And I laugh. "Because we thought we were home alone but it turned out that you felt bad about leaving like that so you came back sometime and I do not know if-"

"Shut up already! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

One of the quirky things about him is that he gets flustered so easily; always makes me laugh my ass off!

"Alright, I'll shut up but only if you answer this: did you hear us having sex or did you just figure out what happened when you saw me in the morning?"

"Fuck you, you sick bastard," he snarls at me.

I love this guy! "Did you hear your sister moaning and screaming my name?"

"I'm so hanging up!" he warns me.

Yashamaru really is priceless! "Wait, hold on, buddy!" I laugh some more. "Don't take me so seriously!"

"I hate you," he says.

"I know, but Is it okay if I drop the kids off at your house tomorrow morning then?"

He thinks about it for a while but at last agrees. He doesn't really have a choice. The kids are mine but they are his sister's as well and his love for her will always be stronger than his hatred for me. He gives me his address, I agree to be there by five, and we hang up.

"Kiddoes, tomorrow you are going to Uncle Yasha's house."

"Yay!" they cheer, and I grin as well. Even if I'll be working, it was about time I get a break from them.

* * *

**I've been thinking of doing either a spin-off or a flashback chapter of how exactly Hiro and Karura met and their marriage in this universe. Sounds terrible, huh? XD Anyways, I promise a lot more Kankuro, Gaara, Temari, and cuteness next chapter! Had to develop Hiro on this one. Reviews are appreciated as always :)**


	4. Chapter Four

**My Kids and I**

**Chapter Four**

**Warning:** Very, very mild sexual themes, and some bad words here and there.

**Note:** After endless hours of editing, here it goes, chapter 4. Although to be honest, I don't find it cute and funny at all. Maybe it's just not a good chapter, maybe over-editing took away the lightheartedness from it, or maybe I just edited for so long that after reading this fifty times it just isn't funny anymore. Leave a comment telling me what you think, because if my compulsive editing is harming the story more than helping it, I will restrain from it. On the other hand if it keeps the quality up and my readers are overall entertained, the pains I go through are totally worth it :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Narutoverse or its elements.

* * *

I've never had issues with waking up as early as four in the morning, but this time... this time...

I didn't get to go to sleep until midnight because the brats I mean my children wouldn't stay in their damned room. They wanted to keep playing, to keep running. They were wide awake and explaining to them my need to sleep early did nothing to make them want to rest. And so, until at last they were tired enough to close their eyes, I got to close my own.

Only for Karura to call right before I was finally falling asleep.

"Hey, Hiro, how are the kids?" she slurred into the phone.

"Are you drunk?" I asked.

She giggled. "Tipsy!"

"Go to sleep. It's eleven already."

"Na ah! It's four!"

"Over here it's eleven."

"But over here it's four!"

She was so drunk. "Why are you 'tipsy' at four in the afternoon then?!"

"Because I got lonely and don't know how to hold my alcohol." She giggled.

I grinned in spite of myself. When we had just started dating I had taken her to a party where she drank a few beers. I'd carried her to my apartment so she could sober up so that her parents wouldn't kill her. "Stop drinking alcohol and take a nap. Make sure to drink lots of water first, alright?"

"Hiro, no, wait, I really miss you and our kids!" she said out of nowhere.

Of course she missed the kiddos, but the fact that she said she missed me as well was a low blow. It was like being kicked in the nuts. It left me in pain, speechless, and out of breath.

"Hiro? Are you there?" she asked.

I swallowed a knot that had formed in my throat and nodded, as if she could see me. I just... I didn't... she... she was drunk. "Hey... take a nap. Are you in your hotel room? Don't be drinking in public places. Someone could take advantage of you."

"It's okay, I'm in the balcony by my room," she said. "It looks over to the beach. It is so beautiful! I wish you had brought me here when we were still together. Like for one of our anniversaries or something. All you ever did was buy me jewelry..."

"Because I thought you liked jewelry..."

"I do, but the most beautiful piece you got me was my engagement ring. Everything else dulls in comparison." She sighed.

I snorted. "That thing is your favorite?" I'd given that woman the biggest diamonds my credit cards could afford and gems that matched the strange teal irises of her eyes, but she preferred the plain little gold ring? What a joke.

"It's because I'll never forget when you kneeled in front of me and asked me to be your wife forever and ever. That night was one of the happiest days of my life."

It symbolized our marriage. Figures it'd be something dorky like that. "So which are the other happy days of your life?" I asked, hoping to avoid an awkward conversation and aiming to amuse her. Surely she would say traveling or a holiday or something.

But no. "The three days when our kids were born, our wedding day, our engagement of course, and... well, and the first time we made love." She laughed softly.

And I blushed. Damn the memories and damn Karura's ability to keep making things awkward. And damn my big mouth. "I don't recall you looking very happy when you were having those labor pains. Or when I popped your cherry. If anything, I would've thought leaving me had been a pretty good day for you."

The silent that ensured was frightening enough to make me pull my blankets closer to my chest, and it stretched for so long that for a moment I began to wonder if she had hanged up, but at last she spoke, and bitterness was evident in every vibrating note of her voice. "I was the one to file the divorce, but you had already left me way before that. Jerk."

I could have argued that I had begged her to stay and had promised I would change my ways but she hadn't cared. I could have told her that right now I still love her and am willing to mold into whatever she wants me to be so that we can be like before when we were both so happy. But seeing as how she was too tipsy to process the meaning of my words, and if she'd been sober she would've been too upset to listen anyways, all I said is a simple, "I'm sorry." For every mistake I had done. For having hurt her as much as she'd hurt me. I... I was sorry. And I didn't want to talk anymore. "Hey, go to sleep, okay? Take a nap. I have to sleep, too."

"But I want to talk to my kids first," she whined.

"They are sleeping and I'm not waking them up."

"You did it last time!"

"That was last time." It took me two hours to get them to go to sleep. There was no freaking way I was waking them up again. "Look, they are fine. I'm taking good care of them. Call tomorrow at twelve instead, alright? You can talk to them then."

"Okay..." she agreed half-heartedly, "When it's twelve here or when it's twelve there?"

"When it's twelve there of course."

"There where you are?"

"No, there In Hawaii."

"Okay. Twelve in the morning or twelve at night?"

"Twelve in the afternoon."

"Twelve in the what?!"

"Just call when it's midday in Hawaii! And right now, go in your apartment, drink water, and nap!"

"Okay, Hiro! Thank you!"

"You're welcome! And take care."

"You too. I love you." She blew a kiss into the phone.

She was so drunk and had no idea what she was saying, but... "I love you, too." Heck, I missed saying those words, and she wouldn't remember them anyways so I figured it was okay.

We hanged up and I was finally falling asleep when I heard a cat meow into the night, and I remembered I had a date with Ms. Mimi. All I wanted by then was to purge the awful elevator memory from my head, but there I lay in bed for over thirty minutes considering the cons and pros of not going to... do... things with her. I was physically tired and talking to my Karura had left me emotionally drained. I didn't think I could get it up if I tried. But if I didn't show up then Ms. Mimi would get vicious and try reporting the kids to management or something evil like that. Trying to be a responsible adult, I decided to go visit her real quick and see what happened from there, but I didn't. I was so tired I fell asleep.

Then it's four in the morning and the alarm goes off. I get up half asleep and take a quick shower. By four thirty-five I am ready, looking sharp in a suit and tie and with my hair gelled back, and about to walk out the door. As soon as I get my kids, that is. I never imagined that that would be a challenging task of its own.

"Temari, Kankuro, get up," I whisper to them.

They don't wake up.

"Hey, wake up, kiddos." I shake them gently.

They groan, push me away, and continue to sleep.

Heck. How does their mom wake them up when they go to school? "Hey, I said get up!" I tell them louder.

They ignore me.

"Wake up!" I shake them a little rougher.

They stir and glare at me through squinty eyes. "We're sleepy."

"I don't give a shit. I'm sleepy too but you don't see me in bed, do you? Get up. I'm taking you to Yashamaru's house for the day."

"Oooooh, you said the 'shit' word..." Kankuro says.

I smack him in the mouth. "Don't say that word."

"But you said it!" he whines.

"I can say it because I'm an adult and because you're pissing me off. Get up already."

"I don't wanna!" Temari snaps, curls back on the bed, and closes her eyes.

"No, no, no! Get up now!" I grab her by the shoulder and make her sit up. "I told Yashamaru I would drop you off at his house by five."

She starts whimpering. "I'm sleepy. I don't want to walk."

"It's just going to be for a little bit until we get to the car," I tell her.

"Can you carry me?" she asks.

"No, I'm carrying Gaara."

She and Kankuro exchange glances.

"Now what?"

"Why can't Gaara walk?" Temari asks. "It's not fair. You and mom always carry him but not us."

"Because he's a baby," I explain to them, but of course they aren't having any of it. Sibling rivalry is a horrible thing.

"So? He has legs too," Kankuro grumbles. "Either all three of us walk or you carry all three of us."

Ultimatums. Gotta love them.

"Gaara, get up!" I shake the little one awake. "Get up, kiddo. We're going to Uncle Yasha's."

With eyes still closed he extends his arms towards me, expecting me to pick him up.

Poor soul. "Sorry, buddy. We are all walking to the car today." And as I drag him out of the bed he starts crying and throwing a tantrum. He's tired, very sleepy, extremely grumpy. He lays down on the floor and refuses to get up.

"Gaara, come on! Don't you want to see Uncle Yashamaru?"

"No!" he screams and goes on crying.

He's getting loud. If he wakes up Ms. Mimi I'll never hear the end of it. "Kankuro, Temari, forget it. Look at him. I have to carry him or he won't shut up."

"Then you have to carry us, too," they say stubbornly.

Sometimes I hate my kids. I really, really do. For the first time, I start really considering just leaving them for Yashamaru to deal with for the remainder of Karura's vacation, but it's the backlash and consequences of doing so that stop me. I've been claiming out loud that I am responsible and that I can take care of them, so getting rid of them now would be not just embarrassing but cowardly too. Even I would be ashamed of myself if I did that. They are mine, whether I can handle them or not.

So I take a deep breath and try reasoning with them. "You guys, I can't carry all three of you."

But little kids are very immature. "Yes you can," Kankuro argues.

"You're strong," Temari backs him up.

I pick up Gaara in my arms and rock him gently, quieting him down. "No, you three are heavy when put together and I have to carry all my things for work too."

"And our suitcases!" Kankuro reminds me.

"Ah, yes. And the suitcases." I agree. "I can't carry everything I have to carry if I have to carry you two, too."

"Then do trips!" Temari says.

I almost scream. "Are you out of your mind?! We are on the third floor! I'm not making trips just to carry you two! You're supposed to be big kids already!"

"Then tell Uncle to come over instead," Temari insists with unwavering determination. "We're sleepy and do not want to walk."

I want to pull my hair out! Why does this happen to me?! I'm trying to do things right, but it's as if the universe hates me or something! "Temari, honey, please! I'm gonna be late for work if you and Kankuro don't get your butts in the car! Do you want that to happen?"

"I don't care!" she screams.

"Well, what if I get fired?" I scream back.

She shrugs again and yawns. "It's okay. Mommy is the one who buys us everything anyways."

Karura does what?! "Your mommy doesn't buy you anything! I do!" That does it! I've had enough! "Listen up, little girl. Either you and your brother put your shoes on right now and walk the whole one minute to the car, or I will lock you up in a closet and leave you here alone all day. Your choice."

They know I'm serious. Five minutes later we are in the car and no one gets hurt. I turn on the radio, start driving to Yashamaru's, and they fall asleep. And that twenty minute drive was the nicest part of my whole day.

When I get to Yashamaru's house, a small white place with a bunch of colorful flowers and greenery, I decide to honor my douchebag title and go crazy with the doorbell. When he finally opens, he is shirtless, moody, and very threatening. The bastard isn't as scrawny as I always made him out to be, and I get the feeling that if I really piss him off I will not get away unscathed. "Did you seriously have to break my doorbell?" he asks, no humor at all.

I shrug with a nervous smile. "Here are the kids." Temari and Kankuro walk inside the house and I hand over the slumbering Gaara. "Here are their bags." I throw the pair of suitcases beside the door. "And I'm out." I turn around and start my trot down the walkway.

But he stops me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! You brought all their stuff!" He stares at the suitcases as if they were grenades I had just tossed or something. "Are you leaving them here then?"

Once again, abandoning them is tempting. They tend to drive me crazy; they are not good for my health. But I guess I do like them a little. Or maybe I'm getting used to them. So I tell Yashamaru, "I'll be back for them. To be honest, I just forgot to sort through all their crap last night."

And that's that. I'm not allowed to change my mind now.

"Alright then," he says. "See you later. If you're not lying."

This guy. "Do you work today?"

"No. Traded shifts so that I could be here to take care of my favorite nephew." He smiles down at the sleeping Gaara.

Kankuro glares at the back of his head from across the couch where he's now laying. "What about me?!"

"You're my favorite niece." Yashamaru smirks.

And then Kankuro pounces at him and he runs off laughing with Gaara in his arms.

"You better not drop him, Yash," I warn him, but I'm sure he's too busy messing around with Kankuro to even hear me.

So instead Temari sees me off. "Bye-bye, daddy! I'll miss you!"

"Bye, princess. Take care of the boys. I trust you."

"Yes, sir!" And she closes the door on my face. How cute, from the girl and from Kankuro.

Since when does he get along so well with Yashamaru as to actually roughhouse with him? He doesn't get along with me like that although I am his father. Then again, did I ever play like that with my father? No, because he was a very stern man. But I'm not that serious of a person most of the time, and I take good care of Kankuro. So does he not trust me? Is our bond not strong enough? Am I doing something wrong? Or is roughhousing something that little kids do with uncles and not with dads and I'm just overreacting?

I get on my car and start driving, and as I drive off I distance myself from my little family problems and get closer to the professional ones. I start thinking about the case and about how to win it. When I get to court, I have a game plan and I'm ready to face the challenge.

When I walk in into our meeting room, my boss asks me if I got laid last night . Apparently I look a lot younger and peaceful, and apparently the hickey Ms. Mimi gave me last night is peeking over my shirt's collar. I am mortified and my party is having a blast making me their object of ridicule. I don't know what to say in my defense, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm the same as always.

"It's okay if you're having fun with the ladies," one of the guys says. "You're a single man now. You can do whatever you want." All the males start saying they wish they had no wives, and the two women in our group start scolding them, and me in particular for being the huge playboy I apparently am.

I sit on the table and listen to the banter, shaking my head in disbelief, but at last they quit it when our client gets there. Everyone switches to professional mode in an instant, and by the time it's three in the afternoon and we have won the case no one remembers my dilemma. We are in the parking lot and the new discussion revolves about where we are going for celebratory drinks. A fancy restaurant that is almost thirty minutes away is decided, and it hurts like hell but I have to decline the meal.

"I told my brother in law I would pick up the kids by five. I wouldn't make it back in time. "

"Oh, come on! Are you serious?"

"Yes, and besides I can't drink. I'll have to drive them home and don't want to drive with alcohol in my system."

"It'll be just a cup of wine or two! Come on!"

"I really can't. I'm sorry."

"You suck, Hiro. You worked so hard on this case."

And I had, but alas, I had to go pick my little kids up from Yashamaru's. I got in the car and drove off before my co-workers could change my mind. And yet, as it turned out, I am a bigger threat to myself than I thought.

My apartment felt like heaven when I got there. It was quiet and free from kids; it was what it was supposed to be. I took my jacket and shoes off, loosened my tie, and turned on the Play Station. One hour alone was all I needed and then I'd go get them. I mean, I was sleep deprived, had to wake up at four in the morning, and had been working ever since. I was tired. Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara would be all over the place and I wouldn't get to relax again until they went to sleep. If I rested for an hour, I could still go pick them up before five o' clock came around.

Only twenty minutes had gone by when a strange pain struck me. Gaara wasn't cooing nonsense or sitting in my lap or trying to play with his siblings; Temari and Kankuro were not fighting. None of the Mayhem Trio members were demanding my controller. The house was extremely quiet. I was completely alone. Holy mother of fuck. I was too alone.

So cutting my relaxing session short, I turned off my game, put my shoes back on, and decided to go pick them up already. I missed them. Ridiculous, I know. But I missed them. When I opened the door to leave however, Ms. Mimi was standing there looking at me with narrowed eyes. Being completely alone was starting to look like a good thing...

"You didn't visit me last night," she said slowly, dangerously.

I gulped. "I- I'm sorry. I wanted to, but the kids didn't go to sleep until like twelve and then their mom called me and then I went to work at five in the morning and-"

"I don't care," she cut me mid-rant. "Where are the little ones now anyways?"

I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I tried to find the right words to get rid of the lady. I really, really did not want to have a quickie one with her. She was older and the idea of touching her old, wrinkled body was gross. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I started, "I was about to go pick them up from their uncle's house, so if you excuse me I have to go-"

But she stopped me. "Not so fast, daddy." She pushed me back inside my apartment and down into my couch, locking the door behind her and then sitting in my lap. "You're going to screw my brains out and then you can go get them, okay?"

I was freaking out. "I can't! I can't! The kids! My brother! The kids! They are waiting for me!"

She bit me hard on the neck. "Shut up already."

And I winced myself silent. She started kissing me all over my face and neck. My cheeks were burning and my throat bruising. She then started grinding into my lap. I didn't think I could get hard considering all my blood was in my head, but my sex life was not the most active and my dick had a brain of its own and was not going to refuse a chance. Still before things got out of control, the little part of me that still thought rationally demanded the madness be stopped.

"I don't have a condom," I said.

"We don't need one," she responded.

"Yes we do because there's way too many STDs out there!"

"You think I have an STD?!" Her jaw dropped open.

"No! But I could have one!"

She raised an eyebrow. "_Do _you have one?"

"Yes! Wait! Well, no! I don't but..."

She knew I was bullshitting. "If you want one so badly, go get one."

"I don't have any..."

"Then we don't need one."

"I refuse to have unprotected sex."

"Then I'll have to report you to management."

"I'll go look for one then..."

And thus I used my last condom. I had a box full of them when Freaky Rika would sleep over, but when we broke up I threw them all away except for the one I kept in case of emergencies. I just never thought the emergency would be a rape. Because I kept telling Ms. Mimi I wanted to stop and she didn't stop. So even if I liked it, technically speaking I was raped.

And by the time we were done, she had the nerve to want to cuddle! That lady!

"No," I said, standing up from my bed. "I need to go pick up my kids already. Ms. Mimi, you were... wonderfull... and all but I have to go now." Then I remembered I was in my house and basically kicked her out so that I could lock the door behind us.

Being taken against my will scarred me more than I thought it would. I was driving sixty miles per hour on a forty and kept replaying what had just happened over and over again in my head. I had fucked with Ms. Mimi and nothing good would come out of it. And it was all Karura's damn fault for dropping the kids off as if my apartment was a daycare or...

... or it was my fault for trying to get rid of the kids for a while. If I'd gone to pick them up like I had said I would, Ms. Mimi wouldn't have raped me. Heck, if I had not been so neglectful as to make my sweet Karura want a divorce, I wouldn't even have met Mimi at all.

Karura... Drunk Karura had said she loved me. Was it crazy to believe that maybe I could get her back? Probably, because she had left me for never paying attention to her or our kids. So to have the remote chance of getting back together with her, I'd have to prove that now I knew how to be a good dad. Yet currently, I did not know how to be a good dad.

But I could learn. The past few days I had been complaining that the kids were annoying and loud and gross and pebbles in my shoes, but then when I was alone in my apartment I had missed them. There was still hope for me to change into a better man. It was just a matter of figuring out how to not see the Mayhem Trio as a burden, and once that was out of the way I would be able to spend time with them and Karura would come running into my arms and I would go back to the house I had bought years ago and we would make love and she would erase Ms. Mimi from my skin and we would live happily ever after.

That's what I wanted and that's what I would aim to get. Starting now. I arrived to Yashamaru's house for the second time that day, feeling energetic and years younger. The kids were what had separated me from the only woman I had ever loved, and the same kids would be the ones to bring us back together. I rang the doorbell once and a cute young woman with orange hair opened the door.

Akane. Yashamaru's girlfriend. I hadn't seen her in over three years, but her hair was unmistakable. "Yes?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

She was so pretty. Why hadn't Yashamaru married her yet? "I'm here for Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara."

"Oh!" She opened the door wider, inviting me in. "Baby, Karura's ex is here!"

"Well, that's shocking." Yashamaru's voice came from the room from which my three kids came out running.

"Daddy!" Temari hugged my legs tightly. Her hair was in three pigtails, the upper right where the fourth tail would go loose and hanging over her eye. She looked different...

"Yay! Dad! Finally!" Kankuro put his arms around my waist and pulled me down, making me lose my balance and thus the change in his sister.

Little Gaara merely ran around me, trying to find a free space where he could hug me comfortably.

All in all, they had never been so happy to see me. Last month when I picked them up for our mandatory four hours of quality time, Kankuro had said with a straight face that he had just gotten a cold and could not go get ice cream like we had planned, while Gaara had cried his lungs out the whole ride there, forcing me to just drive back home and sit in their living room couch alone for over three hours.

Not only that, but now I was honestly glad to see them. I kneeled down and opened my arms wide, hugging all three of them at once. "You guys... I missed you so much." I kissed the girl on the head.

She smiled. "We missed you, too, dad."

And then Yashamaru broke our little moment. "Looks like Douchebag does have a fatherly side after all."

I groaned. "Is it really that hard to believe that I love my kids?"

The cocky grin in his face said it all, but he added, "Well, I've been told by a trustworthy little bird that you're a crappy dad."

Of course she would tell her brother all about our private life. "Well, little bird will tell you when she comes back from Hawaii that I have changed and now I'm a- Wait. Have you been calling me a crappy dad in front of the kids?"

"Na ah," he said, shaking his head. "I like to pretend you don't exist, so I never bring you up in conversations."

"Yeah right! Then why did Kankuro called me a 'crappy dad' yesterday ?"

"Because he's brutally honest?" He shrugged.

Oh. This guy. Really. Too angry. "You have issues, you know? What did I ever do to you?"

"Traumatized me," he smiled bitterly.

And that alone was my queue to return the snarkiness. "No, your sister traumatized you. I told her doing things in your parents house was wrong but she was all over me and you have no idea how hard it is to resist tapping that-"

"Can you please shut up already?" He covered his ears. And I laughed. "Why do you have to be such an ass?!"

And I laughed and laughed some more. "Watch your mouth around my kids, Yasha. I thought you were better than that."

"Oh please, you were just completely disrespecting their mother."

"What? I would never do that!"

His hands balled into fists. "You're so annoying."

And I remembered that he's got more muscles than he let's on. "Hey, okay, calm down. Don't be like that... kitty." I laughed some more in spite of myself. What can I say? He amuses me and, again, I really like him. He's the brother I always wanted to have. The little brother I would've loved to both torment and help do his homework.

Yashamaru rolled his eyes and Gaara looked at me with puzzled eyes.

"Kitty?" he asked.

"Yes," I told him in between laughs. "Your uncle is just like a cat!"

"Daddy, can we have a cat?" Temari asked.

"No, love. I hate animals."

"You hate Uncle Yashamaru?" Kankuro asked.

"No, son. Your uncle is not an animal."

"But he's a cat!" Temari pointed out.

"Like a cat! Because he's _grudgeful_."

They looked utterly lost.

I kept on laughing and waved it off. "Just forget it."

They shrugged.

"Are you on drugs or something?" Yashamaru asked me.

My laughter faded into soft chuckles and I shook my head. "But I wish I was... Anyways, I think I better get going now before you try to kick my ass. Kids, grab your things and clean up."

"Yes, sir," Temari and Kankuro said and the trio ran off.

"Temari," Akane called her. "Let me finish your hair before you leave." The ladies went into the other room.

And it got really awkward between me and Yasha.

"You have... a lot of hickeys..." he noted.

I fixed my collar. "So? You got a few, too." I bluffed.

His hand snapped to his neck. Aha. Cute little Akane was doing bad things.

We were both turning red.

"Do you... do you want some water?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"Ah- yea. Sure. Women take forever getting ready..." Or it was getting incredibly uncomfortable and we both needed a reason to be silent.

He almost smiled. So there we were, sitting on the table drinking water quietly and watching the boys run around picking up all the crap they had left laying around, when talking became unavoidable once again.

"So... Akane brushed Temari's hair earlier, but Temari didn't like it."

"How come?"

"She said she wanted four pigtails like the ones you do on her."

"Oh. Yes. I don't know much about brushing little girl's hair. That's the first thing I came up with."

"Good job, I guess. Akane doesn't like the hairstyle much, but Temari does so that's..." he paused for a long time and I thought he'd forgotten he was speaking, "... that's what matters. You do things differently, you know, even wrong, but all three of them seem happy to be staying at your house. I guess you're doing a decent job."

I couldn't tell whether it was an insult or a praise, but since it was either the nicest insult or the only praise I had ever received from him, I was very grateful for it. Not that I would actually tell him it; he would never let it go.

"Look, dad!" Temari came back out, hair now in place, holding a ziplock bag. "Akane gave me makeup!"

She was too young to wear makeup, but as long as she thought of it as a toy I wouldn't take it away from her.

We finally left Yashamaru's house with the promise to come back soon again, and before going home I stopped at the ice cream shop. I wanted to give the kids a treat. Vanilla for Temari, chocolate for Kankuro, strawberry for Gaara, and even coffee bean for myself while we were at it. They talked nonstop about all they did while I was at work and everything was great. Until Kankuro thought it'd be funny to take Temari's ice cream cone away and shove it into Gaara's face.

The redhead screamed furiously before starting to cry; people stared.

"Kankuro! What did you do that for?!" I glared at him and picked up the little one to take him to the bathroom to wash his face.

Not that Kankuro cared. He was laughing like the evil thing he was. Until my angry Temari decided to beat him up.

"That was my ice cream, you stupid!" she slapped him hard on the face.

"Temari!" I scolded her, although quite frankly I was glad she did it since I couldn't.

"He threw away my ice cream!" she said, grabbing him by the hair.

"Ouch! Ouch! Dad! She's hitting me!" Kankuro yelled, half whimpering and half angry, trying to scratch at her face.

But she was vicious, out of his reach, and wouldn't let him go. People were staring. Gaara was still shrieking. My white button shirt I had used for work was covered in chocolate. I was humiliated. I had to get out. Kankuro lost some hairs in the process, but I managed to get Temari away from his range, got the three of them into the car, and managed to get home without blowing up. Kankuro was grounded. No video games for three days. Temari as well. The makeup Akane had given her? She could say good bye to it. Gaara was just as loud as they had been, but I cut him some slack. Like me, he was just another victim.

"Don't you ever get tired of crying?" I asked him when we were in the elevator.

"No!" he said and kept on going. The lungs that kid had. If only he was a mute.

Ms. Mimi came to say hello to us when we got to the apartment, sending chills down my spine. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she would want to fuck every day if we had a chance. Yet even seeing her and the thoughts she brought along were not as unnerving as what I found when we opened the door.

Temari and Kankuro gasped and a terrified Gaara wrapped his arms around my neck in a bone-breaking embrace. Inside was Shukaku, a big, stupid dog. In my beautiful apartment. That allowed _no children _and _no pets_.

* * *

**As far as this story goes, there should be at least four more chapters. I figured out how I want it to end, and I should be able to wrap it up in no more than 10 chapters.  
****As for the prequel, I will give it a shot, and I think it will be written in Karura's point of view... coming soon...  
**  



End file.
